| Vampire
Gloves |
 We're
straying into the more esoteric reaches of BDSM here. Vampire Gloves are
usually thin leather gloves which have sharp metal tacks or points on the
fingers and/or palms. The length and sharpness of the points depends on
your degree of sadism, but they always make for some intersting caressing.
The sort of thing Freddy Kruger might wear for a romantic evening ! Care
needs to be taken not to break the skin or, if it happens by accident or
intent, to make sure that anything which does break the skin is clean and
sterile to prevent disease and infection. See notes about Safe
Sex |
| Vanilla |
 Vanilla,
implying 'bland' or 'flavourless', is a term used to describe non-BDSM
sex or people. So for example you might hear someone saying they have a
'vanilla partner' (someone not into BDSM) or that they had 'vanilla sex'
(sex not involving BDSM). If you enjoy some aspect of BDSM, then sex without
it may seem a bit 'flat' or incomplete. On the other hand if BDSM genuinely
leaves you cold, then faking it is dishonest and ultimately self-defeating.
Unfortunately the word 'vanilla' is often used in a slightly sniffy,
supercilious way as though sex involving BDSM was in some strange way 'superior'
to vanilla sex. Its not. Its just different. Sex is not an area where value
judgements are appropriate, nor is it some mystical path to spiritual or
intellectual enlightenment. People are hard-wired from an early age to
be aroused by different kinds of sex and generally speaking what turns
you on is not something you even get to choose. We're all different, and
only idiots seriously think that their particular brand of sex is in some
way intrinsically 'superior' to the kinds that others prefer. |
| Verbal
bondage |
 This
can be an unusually intense and imaginative form of bondage and is sometimes
helpful in training submissives. It involves putting your sub into some
suitable position (hands-on-head or kneeling for example) and then
ordering them not to move on pain of your displeasure or punishment. The
only thing binding them is your command and their desire to submit.
One guy I know would have his sub laid naked on the bed, legs wide apart,
with her hands clasped tightly together above her head while he teased
and tormented her. If she moved, she would be punished. Of course she moved
! |
| Verbal
abuse |
 Watch
any marine drill sergeant getting right in the face of terrified recruits
with lurid descriptions of their inadequacies and you get an idea how powerful
verbal abuse can be. It doesn't have to be full-on, red-faced, spittle-flecked
shouting though. Soft words can cut like knives. Its a fact that BDSM attracts
people for whom humilation is a powerful erotic or emotional turn-on. Some
men go weak at the knees when berated for the inadequate size of their
dicks or their general worm'ishness by some aggressive dominatrix. Many
otherwise prim and proper young ladies dissolve into a puddle of molten
lust when called 'slut' and 'whore' as part of a tongue-lashing by a dominant.
I think the intention behind the verbal abuse is what's important here.
If its purpose is to benignly enhance the erotic experience of the 'victim',
however rough it might sound, then thats fine. If on the other hand it's
intended maliciously to degrade or make someone feel bad about themselves
then its not. Words can hurt worse than whips and mark for longer. Be careful. |
| Violet
Wand |
 If
you're into dramatic BDSM theatre, then check out the violet wand ! These
interesting devices have a glass bulb or globe at one end. They use a high-frequency
circuit, similar to a Tesla coil, to build up a static charge in the glass
part, making it glow violet. Touching it causes static sparks to jump to
the skin, with an associated "sizzle" and mild shock. You can adjust the
intensity and rate of sparks. As current doesn't pass through the body
these wands are pretty safe. Best used in a darkened room where they look
spectacular and probably much more intense than they really are.
The sparks from a Violet Wand can be applied pretty much anywhere on the
body except for the head, eyes. Avoid also inserting wands into body cavities
where the thin glass might break. If over-applied to one area of skin,
the sparks can irritate and the ultraviolet light produced could possibly
cause localised redness. With any sparks be careful with things that are
flammable, such as clothes. See also Electrical Torture
and Electrical Play |
| Virtual
... ( Virtual D/s, Virtual Sex, Virtual Scene etc ) |
The term is often used to describe the relatively recent phenomenon of
sex or relationships that take place on the internet rather than in 'real-life',
for example 'Virtual Sex' or 'Virtual D/s'. In the past, and to a large
extent still, BDSM has been been frowned upon by society. Information
about it has been hard to come by and its devotees have been isolated.
That changed dramatically with the advent of the internet in two significant
ways. Firstly the internet has put a vast store-house of BDSM information
at the fingertips of anyone with a computer and a modem, and secondly
it has made it very easy to meet like-minded people in online BDSM communities.
There are literally thousands of websites with helpful information about
all aspects of BDSM as well as huge numbers of chat rooms where you can
meet and talk to others with similar interests. Within this new BDSM 'cyber-world'
people make friends, fall in love, break each others hearts, and do all
of the things that they might do in the 'real world', but without
physically being together. People can have a promiscuous orgy of 'virtual
sex' every night if they wish, or they can form stable and loving D/s
relationships. For some the world of 'virtual BDSM' is just an online
diversion which has no reality or meaning once their computer is switched
off. For others, perhaps isolated by geography or social commitments,
it represents the only chance they have to explore an important part of
their make-up. For some people it provides a unique opportunity to search
for and find their 'soul-mate' in a way that would never be possible in
'real-life'. Views about 'virtual' D/s are mixed. Some regard it as nothing
more than a diverting game, and argue that a 'real' D/s relationship
is only possible where the people are physically together. Others say
that D/s is in essence the relationship between two minds and that this
finds its purest and most powerful form online rather than in 'real-life'.
Regardless of which view you take, remember that the things you
do online involve real people who have real feelings. Anything which has
the power to make you happy or sad is real. Don't use the anonymity the
internet offers to become the sort of person you're going to be ashamed
of. Even if no-one else knows what you've done, you do. See the notes
on Cybersex too. |
