| Rape |
 Lets
talk about 'rape fantasies' (which are common in BDSM ) and genuine rape.
Rape and other kinds of forced sex are common fantasies which are shared
by both men and women. Role-playing those fantasies with a partner
is fine if you both know exactly whats happening but the potential always
exists for things to go wrong. Good communication, understanding expectations/limits,
and setting safewords before you start is not just advisable here, it's
essential. Remember its not only the 'victim' who needs to be protected.
You may believe its just erotic play but if the 'victim' starts loudly
hollering 'rape' for real at some point the fun will fade fast. The key
difference between acting out rape fantasies and genuine rape, of course,
is consensuality. In the former case the 'victim' agrees to what happens
but in the latter they don't. Genuine rape is always a criminal and
abusive act, generally having as much to do with the rapists need to exercise
power as it does with sex. There are rape crisis centres in most areas
and you can find their numbers in the phone book, along with emergency
police numbers. It is important to report a rape as soon as possible so
that you can get proper medical and legal help. Difficult though it may
be, it is also important to resist the urge to clean yourself up or get
changed until after you've been examined so as not to destroy any evidence
which might support your case. That advice applies to both male and female
rape victims. Although rape is seen largely as a crime against women there
have always been rapes committed against men, but they continue to go largely
unreported because the understanding and help that has been painfully won
for female rape in recent years is still sadly lacking for male victims.
In any discussion of rape, it has to be acknowledged that some reported
'rapes' turn out to be false accusations and, whatever the eventual legal
outcome, they ruin innocent lives. Those people are victims too. There
is very little advice you can give someone maliciously accused of rape,
except to get themselves a good lawyer and professional counselling to
help deal with the trauma of public humiliation. Rape is as complex and
difficult to understand as any area of human activity. When rape is alleged
there are usually only two people who really know what happened. Sometimes
to an outsider the picture is brutally clear in black and white, but at
other times it can be perplexingly grey. Always be careful if you role-play
rape fantasies. Always report genuine rape and seek help. |
| Rimming |
 |
A
slang expression for anilingus (anal-oral sex). An exquisite sensation
if you're lucky enough to be on the receiving end, but the giver obviously
needs to be a little bit careful about hygiene. A dental dam, or a thin
layer of cling-film between your tongue and the anus doesn't reduce
sensitivity much but it can help stop you getting some nasty infections.
See the notes on Anal Sex and Safe
Sex for more information about safety precautions. |
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|
| Role
Play |
 |
This
is about adopting a different persona for the purpose of acting out sexual
fantasies. Examples could be the stern schoolmaster and the naughty schoolgirl,
the mistress and her slave, the torturer and his victim, doctor and nurse,
priest and penitant, Batman and Robin, or whatever turns you on. The ponygirl
sub-culture and infantilism are both visually striking
forms of role-playing. The only limits to the fantasies you can role-play
are your own imagination and your ability to find someone willing to adopt
a complementary persona. |
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|
| Roissy |
| A
fictitious chateau featured in the novel 'Histoire d'O' ( The
story of O ) where the heroine, 'O', was first introduced to sadomasochism
and enslaved. Sometimes used as a code word to indicate S/M |
