| Paddle
(paddling) |
 The
paddle is an established favourite with spankers, particularly in the
USA where it often has associations with punishments at school and
old-fashioned parental discipline. Paddles are traditionally made of wood
and designed to be used on the buttocks. Variations include leather paddles,
usually with a rigid spine made of steel or fibreglass, and wooden paddles
with holes drilled in them to reduce wind resistance when the paddle is
swung and produce a harder contact. Any relatively rigid, flat object
such as a hairbrush or ping-pong paddle can be pressed into service as
a paddle. Being heavier and more rigid than the human hand, paddles obviously
hurt more and provide less feedback to the spanker. They are also more
likely to cause bruising. Broader and lighter paddles (like a ping-pong
bat) will make more noise and less marks than narrower, heavier ones.
Paddling compresses the skin, sometimes giving it a leathery feel that
can last for a few hours. Excessive use of the paddle over a period of
time can eventually reduce the skins sensitivity to punishment, which
isn't really what you're aiming at. When you're using a paddle, particularly
a heavy wooden one, you should always protect the submissives tailbone
with your non-spanking hand. If that bone is accidentally whacked with
a chunk of hard wood it can cause serious damage. |
| Pain
Slut |
| A person will accept or
seek pain for all kinds of reasons. It can be a way of expressing submission,
of indulging the appetites of a loved one, or of 'paying' for bad behaviour.
Of course some people just love pain for the erotic pleasure it gives them.
A 'pain slut' is a masochist who enjoys and seeks
out pain for its own sake. |
| PansexualThe |
| Not,
as you might suspect, about using the frying pan as a sexual aid. Pansexual
means not limited or inhibited in sexual choice by gender or activity.
One who exhibits or suggests a sexuality that has many different forms,
objects, and outlets. It is often used to describe groups which embrace
all gender and sexual orientations. |
| Pervert |
 A
person whose sexual behaviour is regarded as unacceptable or abnormal.
Usually used to describe those whose sexual tastes differ from ones own.
Lets face it, most forms of sexual activity have been considered perverted
at one time or another and many still are. Private anal sex between husband
and wife, for example, can get you locked up in some places while homosexuality
still has to peep fearfully out of the closet in other countries. The concept
of 'normal' as applied to human sexuality is a nonsense, and sometimes
a dangerous nonsense, because we're all so different. The word 'pervert'
is consequently just a term of mindless abuse, and says much more about
the user than the one so described. Sex between consenting adults,
whatever form it takes, is OK.... OK ? |
| PES
(Paradise Electro Stimulation) |
 The
Paradise Electro Stimulation (PES) people get a mention because they make
some quite unusual pieces of electrical equipment for the purpose of erotic
stimulation. They are to your average vibrator what a Rolls Royce is to
a rickshaw. Their products include such gems as the 'sparkler' which can
be inserted into the urethra, the 'testicular tubular electrode', and
the formidable 'auto-erotic chair' (illustrated) which is made of hand-crafted
aluminium/titanium and comes complete with top-quality restraints and
two electro stimulative devices that operate from the front and from below
(are you picturing that ? ). Certainly not cheap, but if you want
to see some innovative electrical toys then you can check out their website
at http://www.peselectro.com. |
| Piercing |
 Piercing,
along with cutting, branding and tattooing, comes under the general heading
of 'body modification'. Piercing involves pentrating
the flesh, either temporarily or on a more permanent basis. In play-piercing,
needles are used only for the duration of the play in different areas of
the body. Permanent piercings, for decorative or erotic purposes, may be
done in the nipple, tongue, nostril, eyebrow, ear, lips, scrotum, penis,
the inner and outer labia, or the hood of the clitoris. Metal rings and
studs are usually inserted into the piercings, and sometimes thin chains
are attached to nipple or genital rings during BDSM play to 'lead' the
submissive (a bit like a painful dog-lead). Being stuck with a little needle
may be less scary than having someone cut you with a large bowie knife
but don't be under any illusion, they're both dangerous for exactly the
same reason. Anything that cuts or pierces the skin can introduce dirt
or germs into the bloodstream, and runs the risk of damaging the underlying
arteries or veins. In these days of AIDS and hepatitis C, contaminated
needles and exposure to blood are always dangerous. Any piercing of the
skin should only be done by people who know what they are doing and practice
the highest standards of hygiene. Many tattoo and beauty parlours offer
professional piercing services. It its just the sensation you fancy then
you can, if you're careful, create a feeling similar to piercing but without
penetration by using a clean toothpick to lightly prick the skin (see also
the
Wartenburg Wheel ). |
| Pillory |
 Once
used as a judicial punishment, the pillory (and the stocks) were wooden
restraints which imobilised a person. The stocks were basically two wooden
boards, each of which had one or more semicircles cut into its edge. When
the boards were joined together and locked the semicircles formed
holes which held the head and wrists. A pillory was just a set of stocks
mounted on an upright piece of wood, obliging the prisoner to stand bent
over with his head and wrists imprisoned. Historically, humiliation was
a major part of punishment in stocks or pillories. They would be
sited in the most public place available, for example the market square
or village green and in small communities those being punished would be
known to everyone else, thereby increasing their shame. Audience participation
was a key element. The helpless victim would usually be subjected to a
barrage of mockery and abuse, and pelted with any missiles which came to
hand. These could range from rotten fruit and vegetables, mud, excrement,
dead rats, even stones. This was most effective in the pillory, where the
occupant was unable to move his head. The physical discomfort of
being confined for long periods in pillories was quite considerable.
People could be left there for days, even weeks, in all weather. Being
stuck in the same position would become very uncomfortable after only a
few hours. As an additional punishment, people in the pillory sometimes
had their ears nailed to the boards. Not only was this painful in itself,
but the victim’s head was rendered completely immobile. Ears could be torn
off by the victim’s futile efforts to dodge missiles hurled by the crowd.
If the victim’s ears were still attached to his or her head on completion
of the sentence, they would be cut off before the pillory was opened. Of
course you may not wish to go *quite* this far with your darling submissive
or trusting play-partner |
| Play |
| To
take part in a 'scene' or scene activity. 'Play' also
describes the sado-masochistic things two or more people might do together
which might range from a light spanking through whipping to pretty much
whatever else you can imagine. A 'playroom' is a safe and secure room specially
set up for SM play, which might be equipped with restraints, mirrors, whips,
paddles, whipping posts and benches, or whatever else you fancy. |
| Polyamorous |
| "So you're a slut"..he asked
? "No Sir"..she replied.."My name is Poly and I'm feeling amorous" ! (OK
..bad joke). It's nothing specifically to do with BDSM, but its an expression
you might come across. Polyamory means "loving more than one". The
love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according
to the desires and agreements of the people involved. "Polyamorous"
is also used as a descriptive term for people who are open to more than
one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. |
| Ponygirl |
 Pony-play
is a distinct sub-culture within BDSM. It combines Bondage, Discipline,
Dominance, Submission, and a healthy dash of Sadomasochism. A ponygirl
(or ponyboy) engages in a form of role - play that usually involves an
exchange of power between a human "trainer" and a submissive who assumes
the role of a 'pony'. Typically the human 'pony' is required to wear a
harness and reins while performing actions that a real pony would perform,
such as running on a lunge line, pulling a cart, carrying a rider or being
groomed, inspected and shown. Of course the 'trainer' will sometimes discipline
the 'pony' by using a whip. Some 'ponies' enjoy the loss of control, while
some love the smell and feel of the constricting fetish wear, the inability
to escape, the loss of speech, or the need for physical strength with submission. |
| Position
Training |
| Training a submissive to
adopt a certain position on command or under certain circumstances. Some
BDSM sub-cultures, for example the Goreans, are more
into this than others and have quite elaborate requirements. |
| Power
Exchange |
 This
is an expression you will hear a lot wherever BDSM is discussed. The concept
of an exchange of power is fundamental to any relationship
based upon domination and submission (D/s). A submissive grants to a dominant
a degree of power over her and the dominant, in accepting that power, also
accepts responsibilities towards the submissive which will include not
abusing the power offered. The degree of power granted by the submissive
will vary, depending on the circumstances and the people involved. At one
end of the spectrum, the 'exchange of power' may be conditional and
limited only to a specific period of play. At the other extreme, it might
involve the submissive granting the dominant absolute ownership to the
point where he has the power of life and death over her. Somewhere between
these two points you will find most ongoing D/s relationships, each one
tailored by negotiation and agreement to suit the individuals involved.
When looking at any D/s relationship from the outside it is always tempting
to assume that it is one-sided, with all of the benefits going to the dominant.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The roles of dominant and submissive
are equal in value and always complementary. Neither could exist without
the other and each deserves equal respect. For the relationship to succeed
the exchange of power must be balanced, in other words the needs of the
submissive must be met to the same extent that those of the dominant are.
If there is any significant imbalance, for example if the dominant or submissive
is selfish, irresponsible or untrustworthy, then the relationship is likely
to fail. |
| PVC |
| Poly
Vinyl Chloride (PVC) is a thin, shiny plastic material often used for fetish
clothes. See the note on Latex |
| Pussy
Torture |
 As
with males who enjoy cock and ball torture, some female submissives find
their sex hugely enhanced by painful attention to their genitals which
can range right from the mild to the wild. This can include clothespins
or clamps being attached to their pussy lips, whipping of the outer labia
or even the clitoris, or hot wax being dripped onto the outer lips. What
else can you use ? Well, ice cubes, leather thongs, vibrators, rope,
silk, soft paintbrushes, rough towels, weights, electrodes, and many more
things. The only limit is your own ingenuity. Often the contrast between
soft stroking with something silky alternating with short bursts of light
whipping of the pussy can make for very intense orgasms in the right submissive.
Too much of one kind of sensation can become irritating quickly so change
the stimulation, alternating pain and pleasure. Female genitals can sometimes
be pierced for bondage, with labia piercings holding the lips open or clit
hood piercings leaving the clit naked and exposed. Its stating the obvious
to say that this is a very sensitive area of the body, so be careful. Don't
leave clamps on very long until you know how much your partner enjoys and
easy with the whip until you see how she takes it. Be gentle at first,
start slow, and build the intensity gradually. |
